This Land Is Our Land? – On Being IndoLatinx at a Women’s March

I have started a post every morning since the march and then failed to share it because it felt inadequate. There were so many emotions about the event itself and they have been overwhelmed by the many emotions I’ve had … Continue reading

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The Modern Family Man: Indoctrinating my children since 2008

The following is from friend and fellow bleeding-heart liberal, Joey Myers. Keep an eye out for a future guest post from him.  For now, enjoy this wonderful article on his “indoctrination” of his beautiful little girls.

“First and foremost, we teach our children love. We tell the, all the time, how much we love them. We show physical affection, with lots of hugs and kisses, something we grew up with. We try to remind them, when its time for discipline, that we still love them, even when their actions or decisions are not what we expect from them. I even have a few bedtime stories about Tommy T-Rex — Tommy T-Rex likes Boys, Tommy T-Rex Told a Lie, Tommy T-Rex Hit His Brother — and the moral of the story is always how much Daddy Rex loves Tommy, no matter what he does, no matter his choices, no matter his actions.”

Read more: The Modern Family Man: Indoctrinting my children since 2008.

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Shouldn’t Be Ordained

10. A man’s place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, change the oil in the church vans, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

** This shouldn’t be necessary but undoubtedly it is: The above is a joke.  It’s a parody of the way ordination of women is argued against.  Men, who are called and equipped, absolutely should be ordained.  As should women.

Thanks to for the laugh!